My Past: Part 3

He saw us, Dad that is, I'm continuing on from this post.. He saw that we were sitting in Hungry Jacks and pulled over to come in and get my brother. He pulled out a fishing knife and stormed to the front of the store. My step father turned his back and Dad looked as if he was going to stab him. I screamed at him. I swore at him to leave and my step father T took a turn. He had a seizure. Dad and my brother left while Mum was trying to just hold my step father so he wouldn't hurt himself as he was fitting. I could tell by the way she handled it that it wasn't the first time. I was scared for my brothers safety, the police turned up, the restaurant must have called them. statements were made but never followed through and we went home. I remember feeling so guilty for whatever went on at Dads that night.

Around a week later, as I was getting used to a new lifestyle with Mum and my step Dad T, we got a phone call. My brother was at my Aunties, Dad had dropped him off the night before crying and depressed. My brother wanted to come and live with us.

In the weeks that followed I was confronted with the reality of my decision to live with Mum.

Mum and her husband were pill addicts. Every other day making doctor appointments to various medical centres in numerous places to get as much pills as they could. They had at least two doctors that I knew of who would give them anything they'd ask for without an examination but the rest I would sit and watch as my Mum would put on the shakes and act like a mental person to get  medication. I remember some of the names being Tamazapam, Muralax, Aladorm, Diazapam, Panadene Fort, Serepax, Mogadon & Xanax. The list went on. They even offered my brother and I money to do it, say we couldn't sleep to get pills for them. I would not stand for it but my brother was easily led and would get spoilt and be called the favorite for his efforts.

When they would get home they would 'split' they're medication like lollies and take 10-30 pills at a time often mixing it with alcohol to gain the full effect. Some made them pass out for hours to days at a time, others made them paranoid but almost all would make then oblivious to the world around them. I lost count of the amount of times I'd had to stop one of them from stealing or even getting hit by a car. But the worst memory I have of them after taking pills was the hallucinations. Mum would ask who was at the window, or tell us that people were watching the house. She would believe her own stories and have us second guessing our own intelligences. It got to a point where we didn't know what was fact and what was fiction.

I went into the doctors one day, one of the doctors who didn't examine them at all. He was a doctor just up the road from where we were living in Drouin, Victoira. I walked in and sat down with Mum. She was already off her face as he wrote out her 'ussual'. I stood up and demanded to know why he was prescribing her tablets! I told him what her and T were doing with them and to my suprise, he just kept writing. I glared at him with fury. I remember telling him that it was okay for him, he didn't have to live with them. Mum was smirking the whole time as if it was validation that what she was doing was okay. I stormed out of the doctors that day with so much disgust. If he wouldn't do anything I had to find another way to make them stop. I was determined and angry and wanted the mother back I had those first few weeks of living there. Nothing was going to stand in my way.

A few days later I gathered all the boxed and bottles I could find within the home while Mum, T and my brother were out 'doctor shopping' and took them to the local pharmacist to ask exactly what they were, the effects of each one and why my parents may have been taking them. It was no use, I was just 13 years old, they saw me as a child and wouldn't tell me anything turning me away with the advice to ask my parents what they were for. Then I had an idea.. The local library just got internet put on and I remembered learning the basics in grade 6 and year 7 while with Dad. I was excited and made it my next stop..

While at the library a few days later I found out everything there was to know about the bottles of medication. I printed out all the information and had a plan to bring their web of lies undone. I knew the consequences but I got my brother and I into the mess, I had to be the one to bring us out of it. I knew right from wrong and I was right and they were in the wrong..


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